


Honey

by ManofSpiders



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Depressed Peter Parker, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Quentin Beck is Not a Good Guy, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rough Sex, Starker, if i can think of any more tags ill add them but im tired, maybe? - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-24 15:44:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20708522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ManofSpiders/pseuds/ManofSpiders
Summary: “Peter, please. I want to help you. I’m trying to help you. But you gotta help me. Please tell me what’s going on with you.” Peter nods in acknowledgment, but is silent for a few seconds more.“It was all so real,” Peter finally says. His voice is so quiet Tony almost didn’t catch it.“What was, Pete?”“All of it. You were gone, but then you weren’t, and I didn’t know that it wasn’t…you.” Tony studies the boy in front of him. He’s started to shake, and there’s a quiver to his quiet voice“This guy really messed you up, didn’t he, kid?” Tony doesn’t mean for it to sound rude, but he’s afraid it comes off that way. “Not that you’re messed up, I mean."“No, it’s okay.” Peter manages to look up at Tony once again, and Tony’s heart skips a beat. “I am pretty messed up.”





	1. 1.

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [as long as it takes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20642825) by [LearnedFoot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LearnedFoot/pseuds/LearnedFoot). 

> So. This is my first time writing Tony Stark and Peter Parker so you have to be nice to me, them's the breaks.
> 
> I initially wrote this as a continuation of "as long as it takes" by LearnedFoot cause i wasn't planning on posting it anywhere, but then I liked it so changed it up so it can be a stand-alone fic, but you should still go read that one.
> 
> Peter is aged up in this fic but it's never explicitly stated so you do what you want.
> 
> also a relationship is never defined, _per se_, but pretty implied. 
> 
>   
**also to cover my ass even though it's in the tags: this fic has a pretty graphic rape scene so pls don't read it if that will trigger you!**
> 
> Enjoy!

Peter’s reaction to Tony’s unprecedented return from the dead was the one he was looking forward to the most, and the one he was most let down by.

Instead of the goofy grin, attempts at a hug, or even the simple “I can’t believe you’re back, Mr. Stark!” that Tony was expecting, Peter had stumbled back at the sight of him. He didn’t say much, but Tony just chalked it up to Peter being in shock at Tony literally coming back from the dead. But, when Tony had tried to hug him, Peter cowered back and yelled at him to stay away. Tony won’t lie, that stung a little. After the initial shock wore off, Tony had tried again to offer up a hug to the boy, but Peter still refused. When Tony asked what was going on with him, Peter just made up some excuse about being sick and not wanting to pass it along. Tony was skeptical to say the least, but didn’t pursue it further.

Tony had been brought up to speed about what had happened while he was gone via Happy and Nick Fury soon after Tony’s shocking first reunion with Peter. He learned about Mysterio, the elementals, and how Mysterio had lied to and tried to kill all of them. Tony was _stunned_ to learn that Quentin Beck was killed at the hands of Peter, more or less. He wondered how Peter handled that burden, cause it was still quite the burden to carry around, even if Beck had deserved it.  
Tony had also learned that Peter had gone through hell and back at the hands of Quentin Beck, to put it lightly. He first learned that the boy literally got hit by a train, and at first _freaked the fuck out_, but was informed by Happy that Peter was a bit shaken up at first, but quickly recovered within the same day. Tony couldn’t help but feel pride at his apprentice for this, but also blinding rage at this Beck guy for literally running a _teenager_ over with a fucking _train_.

Next he learned that Peter had handed over EDITH to Beck _voluntarily_. Tony was quick to react angrily, but Happy told him Peter had misunderstood the note Tony had left him, and they all thought Beck was on their side at the time, even Nick Fury. Tony calmed a bit after that, but made a mental note to himself to bring it up to Peter, once Peter actually _let_ him nearby.

Happy certainly saved the worst piece of information for last. Tony’s mouth dropped open upon hearing the illusion Beck created for Peter as Peter had told it to Happy. Beck made Peter believe that he threw one of his classmates, that MJ girl he’s always talking about, off a building, sending him falling down after her. He threw giant shards of glass at him, had him nearly crushed by a giant statue, then there was that whole train thing. But probably worst of all, Beck put the idea into Peter’s mind that Tony’s death was because Peter wasn’t good enough, and topped it off with an illusion of a broken, dirty Iron Man suit complete with a skeleton inside clawing its way out a grave marked with Tony’s name. This nearly sent Tony off the edge. He couldn’t imagine what Peter must’ve felt in that moment, trying to convince himself that it wasn’t real, but seeing it right in front of his own eyes. Tony’s heart broke for him. He started to wonder if that was the reason Peter didn’t want to get close to him; was he traumatized by the image of Tony’s decomposed body climbing out of the grave and crawling towards him? It would make sense. Tony wanted to bring Beck back to life just so he could kill him all over again.

\--

Tony has been trying to get Peter to open up about what had happened for weeks now…or has it been months? Tony tries to remember the specific date Tony had paid Peter that visit after he had come back. He couldn’t remember. It had been a while, that’s for sure. 

Peter wasn’t getting better. Weeks had gone by, and Tony hadn’t been able to so much as lay his hand on Peter’s shoulder without Peter jumping back in defense. He _had_ gotten Peter to start coming by the Tower after school to help him work in the lab, however. Which is a start, Tony keeps telling himself. He guessed that after coming to terms with the fact that Tony was actually _back_, and this wasn’t one of Beck’s illusions, Peter might be more receptive to being touched by Tony, but that hasn’t happened.

Tony had invited Peter to stay for dinner after their work in the lab was completed one day, and Peter agreed, much to Tony’s excitement. Tony made both of them a plate and went to sit down next to Peter on the couch. As Tony sat down, his thigh brushed up against Peter’s own, and Peter immediately jumped up with a gasp. Tony’s heart skipped a beat, startled at the sudden movement.  
“Peter? What’s…” 

“I can’t do this Mr. Stark,” Peter interrupted, refusing to look Tony in the eye. “I’m sorry, sir. I thought I could, but I can’t.”

“Pete, what are you-“

“I have to go.” Peter grabbed his coat and his shoes and, without putting either on, ran out the door before Tony could stop him.

That was weeks ago. Peter stops coming to the Tower after school after that. Tony had tried to ask him why, but Peter usually made up some bullshit excuse about homework or May not allowing it or something. It’s breaking Tony’s heart not to see him, if he’s being honest. So much so that he decides to pay Peter a visit at his apartment.

\--

Tony is sitting on the couch talking to May when Peter walks in, home from school. 

“Hey Aunt May, I’m-“ Peter stops mid-sentence, eyes wide, when he spots Tony on the couch next to his Aunt. “M-Mr. Stark, what are you…why are you here?”

“I was worried about you, Pete. Decided to come talk to May about possibly letting you come back to the Tower to work with me again.” Tony sees Peter swallow hard. “But then she informed me that, she wasn’t aware that you _weren’t_ coming to the Tower after school every day. Curious, right?”

Peter’s eyes shift back and forth between the two of them and he drops his backpack to the floor. 

“I uhh-“ Peter starts. Tony and May both eagerly wait for his excuse, but when none came after a few seconds, May spoke up.

“You want to tell me where you’ve been going?” She asks more gently than Tony would have if this was his kid, but maybe that’s why he wasn’t a parent. 

May gestures for Peter to come join them in the living room, and he walks over hesitantly. She pats the spot on the couch between Tony and herself, but Peter didn’t move; he just continues to stand. Tony notices Peter eyeing him, but when they make eye contact Peter quickly looks away, down at this shoes.

“What’s wrong, Pete?” May asks. 

“Peter, if I did something to make you not want to come back, I apologize,” Tony speaks up. But he knows something deeper is happening with Peter, that’s why he came here today.

“No!” Peter says a little too loudly and a little too quickly. He sees May and Tony both look at him oddly, so he hurriedly follows up. “ It’s not you, Mr. Stark, it’s me.” Tony chuckles.

“Are you breaking up with me, kid?”

“No, I just-“ Peter is refusing to look even at May now; his gaze is glued directly downward at his feet. Tony sees his fingers fidgeting with each other and decides to put the kid out of his misery after a few moments of silence.

“May, would you mind if I talked to Peter alone in his room?” Tony asks. May smiles.

“If you think you can get anything out of him, please, be my guest.” Tony stands from the couch, which causes Peter to take a step back, his eyes rapidly moving from the floor to Tony. It was like Peter was afraid but wasn’t trying to make it obvious. Tony’s heart breaks a little.

“Is that okay with you, Pete?” Tony asks as gently as he could manage. Peter swallows hard and nods, his eyes refusing to meet Tony’s yet again. Tony waits for Peter to lead the way, but after he doesn’t move, Tony starts walking. 

They enter Peter’s bedroom, Tony holding the door open as Peter slowly walks in. Tony goes to shut the door behind them, but Peter quickly stops him.

“No!” Peter exclaims quickly. Tony freezes, the door still in his grip. Peter manages to look at Tony for the first time all night. “Could we…Can we possibly leave the door open, Mr. Stark?” Tony’s confused at first; he studies Peter’s face; he looks afraid. His brown eyes are wide, his eyebrows are scrunched together like he’s about to cry, and his breathing has picked up.

“Please, sir?”

“Sure, kid.” Tony opens the door back up all the way, and gestures his hands toward the room to get Peter to move further inside. He watches Peter slowly walk across the room and sit on the bed before moving himself; the kid is just so jumpy and so scared of Tony, for reasons he still has yet to understand fully, that he doesn’t want to cause him to freak out like he had in the Tower a few weeks ago.

Tony takes a couple steps inside the room, then leans his body against the wall several feet from Peter’s bed, not wanting to get too close, even though he aches to. He crosses his arms across his chest.

“What’s up, Pete?” Peter’s eyes are back to the floor. He’s silent. Tony gives him several moments to think over what he wants to say, but it becomes apparent Peter isn’t talking. Tony sighs. “Peter, please. I want to help you. I’m trying to help you. But you gotta help me. Please tell me what’s going on with you.” Peter nods in acknowledgment, but is silent for a few seconds more. 

“It was all so real,” Peter finally says. His voice is so quiet Tony almost didn’t catch it.

“What was, Pete?” 

“All of it. You were gone, but then you weren’t, and I didn’t know that it wasn’t…you.” Tony studies the boy in front of him. He’s started to shake, and there’s a quiver to his quiet voice. All Tony wanted to do was wrap his arms around him and let him cry into his shirt, but he respectfully kept his distance; something he probably has to do for quite some time to come. Tony sighs sadly at the thought.

“This guy really messed you up, didn’t he, kid?” Tony doesn’t mean for it to sound rude, but he’s afraid it comes off that way. “Not that you’re messed up, I mean,” Tony adds quickly. 

“No, it’s okay.” Peter manages to look up at Tony once again, and Tony’s heart skips a beat. “I am pretty messed up.” He shares a sad smile and shakes his head. “All I want is to be okay again and to work with you after school again and…shit, be able to sit next to you on a couch again.” The room goes silent again. Tony gets an idea, but the kid has shared so little he doesn’t know what boundaries he should be respecting anymore.

“Is it okay if I sit next to you now?” Tony could see Peter’s breathing pick up at the thought, and is silent while he allows Peter to think it over. Peter eventually shakes his head.

“I can’t.” He whispers. Tony’s heart drops. “I’m sorry, sir. I want to, but to be honest, it’s so hard even being in this room alone with you right now.” That stung a little, but Tony tries to remember the situation and that it’s not _entirely_ personal, whatever it is.

“So, let’s talk. What’s so hard about it?” Peter sighs. He seems to be ready to talk, or at least, more ready than before. The pauses in between their sentences are getting shorter.

“When I see you…” Peter begins. “All I can think about is him…is Beck.” Tony’s teeth clench at the name. Tony wants to ask what he did to his poor Peter, but Tony lets him work through it at his own pace.

“He convinced me that you weren’t gone for a while…that you’d come back somehow. I was so relieved, so excited to have you back, Mr. Stark… but….” Peter pauses. Tony sees the rise and fall of Peter’s chest pick up speed, rapidly. _Oh fuck_. “But then he….” The sentence dies on Peter’s lips as his rapid breathing took over. The scene is something Tony knows all too well: Peter is having a panic attack.

“Pete!” Tony says, but he’s unsure of what to do; he’s afraid Peter will freak out even more if Tony gets too close. His chest is heaving; One of Peter’s hands is clutching at his chest, over where his heart is, and the other hand is gripping his bed posts trying to steady himself. 

“My…” Peter is gasping for air. “My heart!” Tony sprints out of the room and runs back moments later with May. He watches as she rushes over to him, sits next to him, and places a hand on his back gently.

“It’s okay, Peter, I’m here,” she says in her usual calming, motherly tone. “Please just try to breathe.”

“I... can’t…” Peter gasps. May just shushes him.

“Shh, don’t talk. Just breathe.” He nods, keeping his eyes focused on a single spot on the ground, trying to steady his dizziness. It’s killing Tony to watch, helpless, as this kid he’s grown to love so much has a panic attack, something Tony has tons of experience with. He knows how awful it is to go through, and would never wish it on anyone, especially not _Peter_. He also knows the attack is over something he’s still trying to get Peter to help him understand. Tony knows this thing has to do with him, which is why Peter can’t stand to touch him, or be touched by him, anymore. Tony needs to know more, so he can help. He needs to be able to hug Peter again. 

Tony decides he can’t stand to watch Peter suffer anymore, even though he knows these attacks don’t tend to last very long. Tony leaves the room and gets a glass of water from the kitchen, so he can at least pretend he’s doing something to help. When he returns, Peter’s breathing is still quick, but has slowed down considerably. The hand that was clutching his heart was now on May’s shoulder, still probably trying to steady himself. The grip of the other hand on the bed post has also loosened. It looks like Peter was beginning to calm down. 

“Here,” Tony offers the glass of water to May to hand to Peter. Peter takes it from her and takes a sip. 

“Thank you,” he says softly. He’s back to staring down at the floor instead of looking up at Tony. _Great_, Tony thinks sadly. 

“What happened, Tony?” May asks quietly, rubbing small circles on Peter’s back as his breathing returns to normal. 

“Uh,” Tony starts. He looks over to Peter for a cue about what to say. He doesn’t know what May knows, but figures it can’t be much less than what he does. Peter doesn’t look up. “He was just telling me about school. He’s got finals soon and they’re stressing him out. Then he just sort of…freaked out.” May nods and turns back to Peter, who has finally stopped shaking and is drinking more of the water.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were so stressed, honey?” Peter flinches at the word ‘honey,’ very slightly, but Tony still caught it. _Odd,_ He thinks. Peter shrugs.

“I didn’t want to worry you.” Not a total lie, Tony figures. He’s sure whatever the real reason for the attack is would stress May out. It’s definitely stressing Tony out. “I’ve been a little overwhelmed, so I’ve been going to the library after school to study. 

“I could try to help you out, kid.” Tony blurts out. “If I might brag, I was a pretty good student if I do say so myself. You could stop by the Tower after school and we’ll see what we can do.” May smiles up at him, but Peter never looks up from the ground. That was probably a bad move on Tony’s part; Peter obviously doesn’t want to see him, or at least, doesn’t want to be completely alone with him. But Tony just missed him so fucking bad, and he missed how they would work in the lab together after school on weekdays; he just wanted that back.

“That sounds great, doesn’t it, Pete?” May asks, nudging him, Peter doesn’t move or speak.

“Seriously, Peter,” Tony says. “I’m more than capable of getting you the help you need.” Peter manages to look up at Tony cautiously. They both know the “help” Tony was talking about wasn’t a math tutor. After a couple of agonizing seconds, all of which Tony was holding his breath, Peter nods. Tony lets out a relieved sigh. “Right. I’ll see you at the Tower tomorrow afternoon then.”


	2. 2.

Tony spends most of the next day researching this Quentin Beck character. He sees news clips of Beck by himself fighting off one of the elementals, then he sees clips of Beck with _Peter_ fighting off another. This shocks Tony for a moment…why would Peter be fighting alongside a man he claims to hate so much? Tony eventually decides this must have been before Beck did…whatever it is he did to Peter. Tony recalls Peter mentioning they had been somewhat friends at first. Maybe someday Tony can ask Peter about it, but probably not anytime soon, he figures. Although, he’s hoping to take the first step towards that today. 

Tony re-watches those clips of Spider-Man alongside Mysterio. He finds himself feeling pride for the young boy, along with a little bit of jealousy, mostly pride, though. He watches Spider-Man fight, trying to ignore the man fighting with him, and is comforted by the fact that Peter can hold his own without Iron Man there supporting him. After a few hours of researching Beck, Tony is only left with more curiosity as to what the man did to his boy. 

He’s just finishing up another clip when he gets a text from Peter letting him know he’s outside. It would be a lie to say Tony isn’t at least a little shocked that Peter actually showed up, but he’s excited nonetheless. Tony buzzes Peter in and eagerly waits for him to get up the elevator. When he hears the elevator doors open, Tony doesn’t move from his spot on the couch, half because he doesn’t know how close to get to the boy, half because if he doesn’t contain himself, he’d pretty much jump up and rush over to him in excitement.

“H-Hey Mr. Stark,” Tony hears Peter say behind him. He sounds nervous. God, what Tony won’t give to have his Peter back to normal and to be able to give him a hug right then and there.

“Hey, kid.” Tony finally gets up from the couch, but stops upon seeing Peter take a step back. He chooses not to bring attention to it right away. “I’m going to go ahead and guess you’re not actually here for homework help.” Peter shrugs, refusing to meet the older man’s gaze.

“’M here cause you wanted me to be,” Peter mumbles. Tony cocks his head to one side.

“Oh? You don’t want to be here?” Tony wonders for a second if he’s being too harsh, or putting the kid on the spot about something he doesn’t want to talk about, but Peter stops those wonders in their tracks.

“No, you know I do, Mr. Stark. It’s not like I _wanted _to stop coming here.” Tony raises an eyebrow, and decides to take the opportunity.

“Then why did you?” Peter bites his lip. 

“It’s…too hard.” Tony frowns.

“Let’s talk about it.” Peter finally looks up at Tony, and his face is panicked. He takes a couple more steps back.

“M-Mr. Stark, I can’t. Not after yesterday.” Tony immediately puts his hands up and takes a couple steps back to keep Peter from a repeat of the previous night. 

“Pete, it’s okay,” he says calmly. “You don’t have to talk about it to me. Or at least, not just me.” Peter looks confused, and Tony hopes what he’s about to say doesn’t make Peter freak out even more. “I’ve got a therapist coming.” Peter’s eyes widen.

“What?!” He’s panicking again. “Sir, I’m not ready!”

“Pete, what did you think I meant by ‘getting you the help you need’?” Tony hopes he’s not being too harsh again, but honestly, he came so close to getting Peter to talk last night, he just wanted to get there again. “Please don’t be afraid. She’s a good friend of mine, a family therapist. I think she can help us.” Peter looks at him.

“Family therapy? You’re going to be there too?” Tony smiles.

“Of course, kid. You know you’re the closest thing to family I’ve got.” Peter smiles, only very slightly, but Tony caught it, and his heart skips. “And I figured me being there would help you talk. If not, I could always leave.” It takes Peter a few moments, but he eventually nods. 

“Okay, I’ll try.”

“I’ve got her booked for the whole afternoon. You can take a couple minutes, or as long as you want.” They had an hour before the therapist arrived, so Tony offers a snack and a movie, to which Peter agrees. With some struggle, Peter manages to sit on the couch while Tony sits on a chair several feet away while they watch the movie. A lot farther away from Peter that Tony wanted to be, but still a step forward. Although, Tony does notice Peter staring at him a few times, presumably to make sure he doesn’t do anything unexpected. Tony’s heart ached with the desire to sit next to his boy on the couch with his arms wrapped around him, but they have some work to do before they’ll ever get to that point again.

Eventually, Tony got another text from someone wanting to be let in. Peter gets visibly more nervous once the therapist walks inside, but doesn’t say or do anything to try to get out of it. 

“Hey, Tess,” Tony says, walking over and shaking the therapist’s hand.

“Hey, Tony.” They further exchange pleasantries while Peter sinks lower into the couch, obviously trying to be ignored. “Is this Peter?” She points to the couch and starts walking over.

“Yeah, Peter Parker, this is my good friend, Dr. Campbell.” Peter cautiously gets up from the couch and shakes her hand with a small “hello.” 

“Is this where we’ll be doing the session today?” Dr. Campbell asks and Tony nods. 

“If that’s alright with you, Pete. If there’s somewhere else in the Tower you feel more comfortable, we can go there.” Peter shakes his head.

“No, right here is okay.” It’s obvious that he’s nervous. The doctor smiles at him.

“Okay Peter, sit wherever you like, and we can get started.”

\--

Peter is reluctant, to say the least, for the first hour of the session. Dr. Campbell continues to ask him questions, trying to get him to open up, but Peter just responds with one- or two-word answers. Not that Tony would admit it, but he’s beginning to get a little bored and had to resist the urge to pull out his phone. That is, until, Dr. Campbell sighs, frustrated, and puts her notes down.

“Mr. Parker, I know whatever it was that you experienced must have been really hard for you, but I really do think talking about it here will help.” Peter’s eyes fixate on his hands fiddling with a scrap of paper. “I can’t help unless you open up.” Peter is silent for a few seconds, then sighs and looks up at her.

“Where do you want me to start?” Tony perks up and sits straighter in his chair, hope in his eyes that his boy is finally going to reveal what happened. 

“Well,” the doctor says. “Why don’t we start with why you’ve been so nervous around Mr. Stark since he came back?” Peter hesitates, then opens the floodgates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kind of a filler chapter im sorry
> 
> next one will be up tomorrow and its a doozy


	3. 3.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TW: GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF RAPE IN THIS CHAPTER**

_“Struggling is not a good look on you, kid,” Tony whispers in Peter’s ear from behind as he continued to hold him down. “Why don’t you stay still for me, huh? Be a good boy for Daddy.”_

_Peter jerked back, trying to get Tony off him with tears streaming down his face. The situation was overwhelming; Tony Stark had come back from the dead not two days ago in a way that Peter still didn’t quite understand. They didn’t have the reunion Peter always dreamed about, though. No. This was way different than what he was picturing._

_“M-Mr. Stark…” Peter sobbed. “Why are you doing this?” Peter was confused, to put it lightly. Tony was supposed to be safe, the only person in the world he could trust, besides May. He heard Tony groan._

_“You’re so hot when you cry, honey.” Peter jerked backward again, desperately trying to free himself. Tony growled in his ear. He grabbed a fistful of Peter’s hair and yanked it back. “Don’t you make this harder than it needs to be, kid.” Tony released Peter’s hair, and flipped the boy over onto his back. “Such a good boy for me, aren’t you honey? Been wanting this forever. All those times in my lab…all I could think about was doing this to you.” _

_Tony grabbed Peter’s jaw in his hands, hard, and forced a wet kiss onto him. Peter felt his rough goatee against his skin. He tried to jerk his head away, but the older man’s grip was far stronger. _

_“You’re going to love this, baby boy.” Peter felt Tony’s hand travel down his bare chest, to his stomach, and finally to his belt. He managed to get it undone._

_“Take your pants off, honey.” Tony demanded. Peter didn’t move. He just laid on the bed sobbing. “Peter. Take your fucking pants off. Now.” Tony growls. Peter could tell he was getting more and more aggressive, and Peter was already terrified, so he did as he was told. Tony smirked as he removed his own pants, and soon Peter was eye-level with the older man’s cock._

_“You like this, honey?” Tony asked, his hand stroking his own very hard dick. He looked down at Peter, naked, crying, terrified, and smiled. “You’re so beautiful, baby. You don’t understand how hard it’s been trying to keep myself from you these past couple years.” Peter whimpers and squeezes his eyes shut. _

_“Mr. Stark, please!” Tony clasps a hand over the boy’s mouth. _

_“Shh, don’t ruin it.” Tony licked his lips at the view before him. “A pretty little boy like you should have all his holes filled, but, since this is your first time, I’ll stick to this one.” Tony began rubbing two lubed-up fingers between Peter’s forced apart legs. Peter let out a breathy sob._

_“So sexy for me, honey, aren’t you?” Tony growled. He suddenly slid his fingers into Peter’s hole, causing him to gasp sharply. Tony smirked. “You like that, baby boy? Fuck, you’re so tight. I can’t wait to feel you.” Peter tried, once again, to shove Tony off him, but Tony removed his fingers from inside Peter and pinned both his hands behind his head. _

_“Come on, baby. You’re gonna love this.” Tony returns his fingers inside Peter’s hole and parts them. Peter cried out at the sudden pain, but Tony didn’t stop. He added another finger. Peter was sobbing harder than he could ever remember doing. Tony stroked the boy’s curls._

_“You ready, honey? Daddy can’t wait anymore.” Tony whispered in Peter’s ear. Peter whimpered as Tony removed his fingers once again and order him to flip over. Tony groaned, hand on his own dick as Peter did what he was told. “Fuck, baby. You’re so perfect.” He gave Peter’s ass a few quick, hard slaps, and Peter cried out. _

_“Mr. Stark, p-please let me go.” Peter hated how pathetic he sounded. Tony reached forward and wrapped his hand around Peter’s neck again, forcing his head upward. He learned forward to whisper in his ear._

_“You’re all mine, honey.” Peter screamed as Tony entered him. “Fuck! So fucking tight, baby boy!” Peter was gasping, sobbing as Tony moved in and out, slowly at first, but soon moving quicker and quicker as Peter stretched. Peter was really too small to be taking on a dick as big as Tony’s, but Tony forces it in and out repeatedly anyway. Peter felt like he was on fire, and cried harder. He felt Tony scratch up his back and surely leaving bruises on his shoulders with how hard Tony was gripping them. Tony saw Peter peer over his shoulder to look at the damage being left and smirked._

_“You know what I love most about you, baby boy?” Tony asked, slowing his thrusts down only slightly. Peter looked up at him, tears welling in his eyes. “These healing powers of yours. All these…” Tony ran a hand down Peter’s back, bringing attention to the scratches he had been leaving there. “…will be gone by the time you get to tell anyone about this.”_

_“Mr. Stark, please,” Peter begged. “I-I don’t understand.” Tony picked up his pace again, slamming into Peter fast, and hard. Peter was stretched so impossibly tight, and all he could do was sob._

_“You’re even prettier when you beg, honey. Lucky me.” Tony leans forward and licks up Peter’s neck, causing him to shudder. “This is all I wanted, Peter. Just wanted to fuck you. Never wanted anything more than just to fuck you.” Peter sobbed harder. His words hurt almost as bad as the physical pain he was in._

_Peter felt sick, terrified, betrayed, shocked, confused…just to put it lightly. He couldn’t believe his hero…his_ father figure _was doing something so terrible to him. It was even harder to believe than Tony being from the dead. Peter couldn’t help but think back to all the times Tony had invited him into his home, into his lab, to help build new suits and other stuff. Peter always thought it was because Tony had thought he was smart, that he could actually help him, but now he knew Tony only wanted him around so that he could….imagine doing this to him. The thought almost made Peter throw up, and it _did_ make him cry harder. He didn’t think that was even possible. _

_Tony’s thrusts become even faster, followed by a string of swears, and Peter feels relief that it’s almost over. Tony’s hand found its way back to Peter’s throat and squeezed, harder than any other time, causing him to gag and gasp for air. The grip got tighter and tighter as Tony got closer, grunting and moaning into Peter’s ear. Peter’s eyes snapped open when the grip got impossibly tight. He began clawing at Tony’s arm, and looked back at him desperately. Just then, just as Tony was about to climax, something happened. _

_There was…something that Peter could only describe as a glitch. It was only a split second; the split-second right as Tony came inside him. Except, for that split-second, he wasn’t Tony. Peter saw Quentin Beck instead. He could have chalked it up to lack of oxygen from being choked so hard, but damn, it was so _real. _Peter swore it was Beck in that second. He almost felt relief; it couldn’t be Mr. Stark doing this to him…Mr. Stark would _never_…._

_Peter blinked, and Beck was gone. Tony stood over him once more. Peter was so stunned he hadn’t realized Tony had finished inside him and pulled out. _

_“You did so good, honey,” He said, leaning down to kiss Peter’s cheek. “I’m so glad to have you all to myself now, baby boy.” Peter curled up, shaking and still crying, as Tony finished dressing and left him there alone. Until the next time. _


	4. 4.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TW: mentions of rape in this chapter**

The room is silent. Peter’s head is hung low, and he’s sobbing. Dr. Campbell is rapidly taking down notes, and Tony, well, Tony is _stunned_, among other things. That was _not_ what he expected to hear, _at all_. He is heartbroken. He is enraged. He is furious Beck had decided to take on his image in order to hurt Peter. But his heart aches, most of all. 

Tony doesn’t know who’s supposed to speak next, and he doesn’t think Dr. Campbell knows either. They both are fixated on Peter, whose head is in his hands, and they just let him cry. 

After a few moments, Tony decides to use his coveted leaving-the-room-to-go-get-a-glass-of-water trick to make himself less uncomfortable, but he returns to the same scene. Tony sets the glass of water on the table next to where Peter is sitting, making sure not to get too close, and sits back down.

Peter’s still crying when Dr. Campbell speaks again.

“What you’re feeling is very normal for what you’ve been through, though I admit, it is a very…unique situation. I’m proud of you for sharing all that with us today. If you want to, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, we can end it here and I can come back sometime next week.” Peter shakes his head without lifting it from his hands.

“No,” his voice was soft and nasally from all the crying. “If I stop, I won’t be able to start again.” He slowly lifts his head from his hands, and the sight breaks Tony’s fucking heart.

His eyes, and the skin around them, are red. He has wet trails down his face all the way to his chin. His hair is unkempt from him running his hands through it while telling his story. He just looks so broken. Tony wants to kill Beck. He wants to bring Quentin Beck back from the dead so he can fucking kill him again. He wants to make him really pay for what he did to his boy.

Beck didn’t just want power. If he just wanted power, he’d have raped Peter as himself. But he didn’t. He assumed Tony’s form to perform the deed because that would also mentally fuck Peter up for a long time, if not for the rest of his life. Tony begins to see red, and clenches his fists so hard they turn white.

Peter continues for the therapist. He tells about how Beck pretended to be Tony and…took advantage of him several more times after that, but the illusion never glitched again like Peter saw the first time, making Peter question whether he actually saw it or not. Tony feels himself getting angrier and angrier with every word. He also notices that Peter is trying way too hard to keep himself from looking over at Tony. 

Peter connected the dots when he finally discovered the illusion tech Beck possessed. The whole time, Peter had thought Beck was his friend. He couldn’t imagine what he did to cause Beck to want to do something so _fucked up_ to him. He still doesn’t know. 

Peter’s mental health didn’t get much better after he found out it wasn’t actually Tony taking advantage of him. Despite his knowledge, he still had the visual in his mind and the voice inside his head: _“You’re so hot when you cry, honey,” “Never wanted anything more than just to fuck you.” “You’re going to love this, honey.” _

Tony suddenly realizes why Peter had cringed when May called him "honey" the night before. He makes a mental note to never call him that again.

Peter describes how real each encounter with “Tony” felt, which is why he’s been so jumpy and nervous around him. He mentions that he knows Tony didn’t actually do it, but it’s hard to tell that to his brain and his body when he _saw_ Tony do it. 

Peter finishes the session by saying how killing Beck didn’t help him, and he has nightmares every night featuring both Beck and Tony. He didn’t say what the nightmares consisted of, but Tony figures he could probably guess, and his heart breaks.

“Peter, I-“ Tony begins, but what can he even say? Tony can’t imagine anything more horrific than what Peter had endured: having his childhood hero and father figure die right in front of him, being tricked into thinking said hero came back to life when it wasn’t actually him, having to be _raped_ over and over, thinking it was done by his hero, then having to kill someone who he thought was his friend. Not to mention having to deal with Tony _actually_ coming back to life, but not being sure if it was real or not this time. “I’m so _sorry.”_

Peter just nods, his hands folded in his lap and his eyes on the floor. Tony can’t imagine what it must have felt like to share all that information with Tony, the main reason for his trauma, and a total stranger. The therapist writes some more things down before continuing.

“Is there anything else you’d like to discuss today?” Peter thinks for a minute, then shakes his head.

“No, I’m done. I can’t do it anymore.” Dr. Campbell nods and stands up. 

“I’m glad we did this, Peter. You’re one step closer to getting better.” She smiles at him and he tries his best to return it, but there’s too much sadness in his heart to achieve it genuinely. Tony sets up a follow up appointment for the next week, they both say their goodbyes, and Dr. Campbell leaves.

\--

“You want to talk about it, kid?” Tony asks. Very few words had been spoken since the therapist left. Tony didn’t want to push the kid anymore; he had made more progress in the past hour than he had in the months since Tony had been back. But he doesn’t know what else to say. Peter just shrugs.

“I feel like I’ve shared everything.” His voice is quiet, and he’s refusing to meet Tony’s gaze. “That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?” Tony’s face gets red.

“Pete…you didn’t talk about all that just because of me, did you?” I didn’t force you to do that, did I?” Peter’s silent for a few moments and Tony’s heart sinks.

“I mean…I definitely wasn’t planning on telling you all that _today_ when I came in, that’s for sure.” Peter crosses his arms, still starting at the floor beneath Tony’s feet. “But you didn’t _make_ me do anything.” Oddly, Tony doesn’t feel much relief from this response. “I guess I always knew I was going to have to tell you eventually, y’know, if I wanted to keep hanging out with you.”

“So, you’re not upset with me?”

“I feel a lot of things toward you right now, Mr. Stark. Especially after today.” Tony’s heart is aching. He just wants Peter to look at him like he used to, with admiration rather than terror and disgust. And for something he didn’t even do… As badly as he feels, he’s sure it’s probably about a thousand times worse for Peter. 

“Like what?” Tony asks hesitantly, not really wanting to know the answer but dying to know at the same time. 

“Like…” Peter lifts his gaze up to the ceiling as he tries to find the right words. “Like…I know it wasn’t you who did all that to me…I _know_ that. But seeing you just brings me right back to each of those times that Beck…” He trails off. Tony has noticed that, besides from that therapy session, Peter has never explicitly said what Beck did to him; he always finds a way to work around the word. Tony imagines it would be pretty hard saying what happened out loud, and doesn’t push him. 

“But now that you’ve been back for a while,” Peter eventually continues. “I’ve been able to push all that down, at least a little. Enough that I can go back to working with you in your lab. Cause I _missed_ you, Mr. Stark. _So_ much, and just wanted it back to normal. But seeing you now makes my body react in ways that I just don’t have any control of.” Tony nods, filled with sorrow, but says nothing. Peter’s done talking but Tony doesn’t respond, forcing Peter to fill the silence; it was a little therapy trick he’d learned from Dr. Campbell.

“I can’t help it that whenever you touch me, I jump. Trust me, if I could stop it, I would, because god, all I’ve wanted since you’ve gotten back is to hug you.” Tony offers a sad smile at this.

“I’d want nothing more, either, kid.” Tony watches as Peter slowly brings himself to look at Tony and smiles back.

“Do you think that maybe…I mean, are you busy tonight?” Tony blinks, confused.

“Are you asking me out on a date, Pete?” Peter laughs, the first time Tony’s heard Peter laugh since…sometime before he was dead. _God, had it really been that long?_ It’s refreshing.

“No, Mr. Stark. I was just gonna ask if maybe…we could spend tonight trying to work up to that hug?” Tony raises an eyebrow as Peter continues. “Have you ever heard of exposure therapy? I was reading up on it after you left last night, and basically…” As peter goes into an explanation, Tony’s smile widens. He pictures Peter being so fed up with not being able to get close to Tony or even look him in the eyes, that he looks up ways to get better so that he could. The thought makes Tony’s heart jump.

“…and eventually, after being exposed to the stressor over and over, the body stops reacting like it’s a threat.” Peter finishes, looking up at Tony hopefully. He was still several feet away, pretty much across the room from where Tony was, so they definitely had a long night ahead of them, but this was the longest that Peter had been able to maintain eye contact with him since Tony had come back. And damn, did Tony miss those big brown eyes.

“You’re ready to try that?” Tony asks hopefully.

“Yeah, I think so. I mean, if you’re willing to stay up and help me.”

“Whatever it takes, kid. Let’s get started.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm late I'm sorry :(
> 
> I don't know when the last chapter will be up, cause I thought I'd be done with it by now but I'm not and I've got a busy weekend coming up, but I'm gonna do my best.
> 
> Thank you for reading and for all the kudos and nice comments so far <3

**Author's Note:**

> fic being updated daily
> 
> Leave a comment and validate me :)
> 
> Come say hi on my tumblr also: spidermanstark.tumblr.com


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